With honesty and real understanding on a soul level, Susan Gregory pens this poignant account of heartbreak and loss. From a young age, she experiences powerful feelings of loss. Although being adopted does not make her feel abandoned like some who are adopted, it does give her pause to wonder about her life’s purpose. Why was she lucky enough to be adopted into a loving family when so many are left in unsuitable homes, foster homes, or worse, aborted?
At the young, impressionable age of ten, the grandfather she adores dies suddenly. She is left trying to make sense of his loss as a preteen. Then in her early twenties, in the wake of a young marriage, the death of her daughter sends her into despair reminding her once again that she can feel desperately alone when surrounded by family and friends.
Decades later still searching for meaning through grief, she is trapped in a second marriage with a husband who tells her feelings do not matter, least of all, her feelings; and a career that has trained her to suppress and shun feelings. Hoping to hide within and make sense of why she feels the way she feels, she turns to a solitary pleasure of journaling personal essays and writing poetry.
An unexpected friendship with a former high school Latin teacher opens her eyes when he remarks to her about the constancy of love he sees in her writings and poetry about grief and suffering. The two become fast friends sharing extraordinary interests, love of literature and history, and witty humor as Susan continues to write her way out of grief and depression.
One morning she feels the touch of an angel and is led to discover the tragic news online of her friend’s death three days earlier. She swiftly returns to her dark place, but this time, the friend serves as her guardian angel guiding her and giving her strength to bounce back. In the midst of losing her friend, she finds meaning in her life’s purpose and a most surprising new perspective about her birth mother.